What happens in Ojai, stays in Ojai (forever)

They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  Three things make this possible; intimacy, scale and turnover. There is zero intimacy, creating an environment of anonymity and zero accountability to your fellow man.  The scale is staggering and the landscape sprawling.  You could let a dozen tour busses of rodeo clowns loose and never see one while you were there. And the town is turning over its population in a matter of hours.

Newton’s third law states for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Metaphysicians say life is a zero net sum game.  For every high there is a low.  I would argue that Ojai is the natural balancing point to Las Vegas.  The irony here is that Vegas is a hipster’s paradise and through the magic of Conde Naste and other skewed stories extolling the virtues of an organic paradise full of trails and shopping and the easy life hipsters have found Ojai.

Ojai at its best is egalitarian which simply put means it is accessible and for everyone. The article certainly speaks to the charm and tone of the valley, but it is skewed toward the hipster demographic. In particular picking the Farmer and the Cook as the place to eat I find a little unrepresentative of my experience. I have nothing against them.  They enjoy a great reputation and put out a premium product, but I have lived here most of my 47 years and have never set foot in the place.

Ojai is full of doctors and lawyers and Indian chiefs. Tradesmen who coach football and little league.  Civic minded harridans who pour time and money into the tennis tournament and the bowl. Civil servants and commuters that file in and out of the valley who watch their kids play soccer and lead scout troops.  And none of them own a yoga mat or eat at the Farmer and the Cook.

I see more and more people moving here touched by articles like this who arrive and don’t have the first clue how Ojai works.  What a real community is made of and built on.  It is built on diversity.  Interconnection.  Healthy, creative friction.  And contributing. Very few things in this life are all good or bad and a good thing is bound to catch on.  

We are fortunate to have so many travelers find Ojai and decide to call it home. If you have come to contribute, to participate, to revel in proximity to your fellow man then I say bravo.  Bien hecho.  Well done.  And Ojai needs you more than ever, friend.  If you can understand it is not about you, it is about us everything is going to work out just fine.

However, hipsters are fantasy seekers.  They want to run away to Shangrila and leave the world behind.  They scour magazines and the internet for tasty little gems like Ojai that are so very and descend on them like locust.  Devouring the experience in an orgy of narcissism. More often than not it is a study in “no matter where you go, there you are”. They want to collect peak experiences to impress their friends over drinks and leave the responsibility to the suckers and the old people (read grown ups).  It is the Napster generation that has made theft a credo and taking a lifestyle.

Here is a quick litmus test if there is any doubt or confusion.  If you are discussing your carbon footprint while sipping on your free trade soy latte and nibbling your gluten free scone and letting your children run amok or scream unabated, you might be a hipster.  The adage says think globally and act LOCALY.  Patting yourself on the back and posting your place in heaven on instagram while your children ruin the rest of the patrons experience is acting localy.  Imbuing your purchases with God’s good work while blithely stomping through your neighbors lives aint it.  

Which returns us to our metrics of intimacy, scale, and turnover.  Ojai is extremely intimate.  Relationships are long and complicated.  Paths cross and cross again in an endless web of connection and entanglement.  People know each other’s business and far more often than not it is a source of entertainment and self protection.  The scale is finite.  Small. Like an oversized movie set or small studio lot.  If you pee in the ocean nobody cares.  If you pee in the tub you can change the color of the water.  Get it?  What you do matters and effects those around you.  And lastly turnover.  My parents have lived in the same house for forty years.  The people I grew up with’s parents still live in the same houses.  People have come here to raise families and die for a very very long time.  It is a huge reason there is a very small inventory of houses on the market.  That creates continuity and a collective memory.

So remember, as you are busy having it all, Ojai is watching.  What happens in Ojai stays in Ojai.  Forever. See you at the Farmer and the Cook.

Negotiation By Humiliation

Construction and its related fields of real estate, architecture, and interior design offer an opportunity to get coerced like no other.  And it is ironic that those who are most together in other aspects of their lives abdicate their free will in the face of a skilled bully.  I assume this is because of the risk, uncertainty, and relative lack of knowledge people have with regards to buildings and their fabrication and maintenance.  They are full of primal fear and hoping that someone can make it all ok.  And the good ones can. 

The following categories apply to contractors, architects, interior designers, realtors, consultants and the like, though some are far more likely in one field than another.

There is the role the professional is supposed to play and there is the unfortunate role they can play.  At their best they are indispensible for protecting assets, maximizing efforts, and lifting the process up to something experiential and sublime.  Unfortunately bad things can happen to good people. Here are some personalities to stay away from.

The know it all snake oil sales man who steps in and handles everything (even before he is asked),  also known as the Alexander Haig (Reagan’s secretary of state who announced he was in charge about three people down the chain of command early).  They love to tell you how in hand they have things and they have a proprietary and franchised method/system/tool that does exactly what you need.  Most commonly specialty contractors like 24 hour plumbers/rooter services but can be anyone with a horse to flog.  In commercial projects it is the heating and air conditioning guys.  Anyone who sells directly to the owner and does not like to share and play well with others.

The man handler who tells you what you’re going to do.  Everything is in the imperative form flowing the wrong way.  The hall mark of this personality is being short, pushy, or testy during the honey moon.  Calls to see when you are going to start, despite clearly telling him you would let him know.  Assuming they have the job and trying to secure a start date before the job is bid.  Minor delays and set backs (which are the norm in construction) eliciting attitude and anger.  And when that is questioned or any resistance is developed to their leaning in on you they go to the taunt.  What are you broke?  You cheap pussy.  The cliché general contractor.

The passive aggressive who makes you feel like you don’t belong.  They are supercilious souls that are so casual and comfortable with the very finest of everything that you quite naturally are somewhat uncomfortable by contrast.  There can be pleasant smiles and good moments, but you always have the feeling that everything is an effort and if only you understood how out of your depth you were.  Almost any effort to suggest something more reasonable or value driven is met with the refrain “If you’re comfortable with that.”  Typically effete high-end design types.

The passive passive aggressive who dares you to make things uncomfortable, glibly pushing onward detached from the enormous and often erroneous billing going on.  Le Mat, the fool and the first card of the tarot, emboldened and intrepid in his pursuit of his bliss at your expense. Usually someone who has a vision that they are solely responsible for.  Often takes a parent child approach to the professional client relationship.  When it is the project they are the parent and you are the child and when it is money they are the child and you arethe parent.

The alpha nag who explains the rules.  To watch one in action is a truly unholy thing.  You can observe the most accomplished together woman imaginable transport and transform back to their sophomore year in high school before your very eyes.  Everyone is doing this.  No one is doing that.  You have to have this.  You can’t have that.  It is like watching one of those hypnotists at work in theater.  Or maybe more like the Manchurian candidate.  They do not like men because the Heather’s number they run does not work well if you have no interest in wearing the red ribbon.  Sadly this is almost every interior designer I have ever met.

The charlatan  who knows wealthy people don’t like to admit they made a mistake and are terrified their peers will find out.  This is often the person that you absolutely have to use.  EVERYONE in your social set has used them. They might even be at the party, but they are the “it” guy or girl.  Things start fine, but at key moments everything seems horribly, privately a mess and things are coming off the rails.  Important thing are not addressed or communicated.  Important documents go unread and it translates in eleventh hour crisis and huge costs.  Then you find out from your friends “Oh yeah, they are really bad about that.”  And there you are with the rest of your friends extolling the virtues, too ashamed to share the reality of the financial STD you picked up.  But hey, you all have it so its all good.  Ranges from prestige realtors to elite designers.

The pretentious incompetent , the poor retarded cousin of the charlatan, also known as the corn snake, who looks the part but fails to deliver the goods.  The poor client faced with the fact that they paid for $1,300.00 - $13,000.00 of worthless advice only to realize they didn’t need them or their own ideas are better.  Quite often people feel compelled to do the least offensive and most innocuous  ideas in order to avoid accepting the mistake. All sizzle and no steak.  The domain of consultants, independent draftsmen, and unlicensed contractors.

My philosophy is it is your house, home, property.  Trust the people you hire to do a good job when ever possible.  But if you find yourself compromised or in a bad situation, get out.